


Gap - Ryuunosuke Tanaka x Reader | COMPLETED

by IppenX



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Complete, F/M, Hugs, I guess Ryu has a thing for older women, Kisses, POV First Person, Relationship built from 0 bc that's how I roll, he also has no idea what he's doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 14:06:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12509140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IppenX/pseuds/IppenX
Summary: For Tanaka, intimidating the opposing team was even more fun because the captain forbade him from doing so - after all, the future ace always thought the forbidden things were the most amusing ones. But once he found forbidden love, it suddenly stopped being all fun and games ...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a cross-posting account: I'm primarily active on Quotev.com, where you can find me under the same username [IppenX].  
> Link to original post: quotev.com/story/9642422

"Gaaaaaaah, I can't believe I passed this exam! This definitely calls for drinks!" Saeko called out, parking her van in front of her house and jumping out of the driver's seat. "Hey, you coming or not?!"

Holding my stomach, I slowly got out of the van: "Please ... I need a minute. I feel like a sack of potatoes each time I'm in your car ... sorry."

"Girl, come on! Where's your enthusiasm?! I barely passed, you got a 98%!"

"Well yes, it was an easy exam."

"That's what I get for being best friends with a genius, damn it! Now haul your ass, I have whiskey and vodka waiting for me. And you can get juice or something, there's still some in the fridge."

"Thank you for not trying to get me drunk this once." I said, walking up the drive way with her.

"I told you last time, I give up on trying to get you to drink alcohol. Geez, you're so meek! Such a soft, goody-two-shoes bastard!"

"I love you too, Saeko."

"You're too good for this world. I'm still waiting on the day you lose your nerve and snap!" She laughed as we walked into her house.

_Ha ... ha ... ha. Little do you know that if I lose my nerve, it's not gonna be because of you._

The usual feeling of anxiety crept into me as I followed her into the kitchen and watched her take drinks out of the fridge.

_Please don't be home. Please, don't be ho-_

My wishful thinking was cut short by a slam of a door and loud footsteps coming down the hall.

_Oh no._

"Siiiiiiis, did you pass? Did you??"

The kitchen door flung open as Ryu came running in, headed straight for Saeko.

"Hell yes I passed!"

They high-fived, laughing.

"I knew you could do it! You're awesome!"

"Please, you're praising the wrong person. I'm not the one who got an effing 98%!"

He turned to me with a big smile, offering a high five: "Good job, sis-tamer."

I gently slapped my palm against his, hoping it would go by too fast for him to notice how my hands were shaking. "T-Thank you. But please ... uhm ... don't call me that."

"Yeah, Ryu, how long will we have to tell you to stop it? She is NOT my tamer!"

He turned back to Saeko, grinning wide: "Who forces you to study all the time?"

"Yeah, but that's-"

"And who yells at you when you drive over the speed limit?"

"I mean-"

"And who is the only person who manages to get you to clean your room?"

"Fine, fine! I get it, I'm an irresponsible person! Geez, Ryu! You really are a handful."

"I learned it from you!"

I silently watched his eyes sparkle as he teased his sister. His whole presence was intense, loud and overwhelming, but there was something unexplainably soothing in the way he laughed. My heart raced more with each passing second, but I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

_It was a mistake ... all of it. Becoming friends with Saeko was a mistake. Letting her invite me over for the first time was a mistake. Meeting you was a mistake. Thinking she had such a cute little brother was a mistake. Hanging out with both of you was a mistake. Watching you as you entered high school and grew from a cute boy into a man almost overnight was a mistake._

_But the biggest mistake of all was falling in love with my best friend's little brother._


	2. Chapter 2

After their cheerful banter died out, Saeko handed me a couple bottles as she went to grab two glasses from the cupboard.

Leaning closer to me, Ryu whispered: "Oi, is she planning to get drunk again?"

I nodded. "Don't worry. I'm switching her straight to water once she gets a little dizzy."

"Thanks, you're awesome. I'll be back in my room then ... there's a math exam next week and I really have to study."

"Good luck!"

He flashed me a bright smile before he walked out the kitchen: "If there's something I don't understand, will you help me like you always do?"

"I will, just let me know."

"Yeah but only if you really have time! I don't want to make you come here just to tutor me."

I smiled, sighing a little. "It's not like Saeko doesn't drag me home with her almost every day already. But it's fun to hang around with her, so I don't mind."

"Still, she should at least offer to drive you home in the evenings."

"Uhm ... please no. I prefer taking the bus back to Sendai over her van any day."

Coming back with the glasses for our drinks, Saeko grinned, tapping both Ryu and I on the head: "Such annoyances, both of you! I'm right here and you still badmouth my driving?"

"It's your own fault, sis!" Ryu yelled at her, already running to his room and slamming the door before she could give him another earful.

"Gaaah, that boy. Does he realize that if he's not good, I can just throw him out and send him to our parents in Tokyo? It's not like it was my duty to offer to share my house with him because he didn't want to go with them when they moved! I really didn't wanna do it! He should be thankful I even considered it."

"Your stupid grin doesn't agree with your words, Saeko."

"Shush, let's go upstairs so I can prove to you that even without your nagging, the room is somewhat clean." She said, pulling me behind her by the sleeve in an attempt to avoid the topic.

I couldn't help but laugh slightly. "You really are a tsundere sister."

"Am not!"

"Yes you are! You keep complaining all the time but we both know you love your brother! Just be honest with your feelings, idiot!"

_Heh ... this sounds so insanely hypocritical coming from me._

"You don't get to call me an idiot, I passed!"

"Barely." I pointed out, sitting down on the floor of her room and taking a glass of orange juice.

Filling her glass with whiskey, she sighed loudly: "Barely or not, I passed. Which means we're almost done for this year! We put up a great fight again, or at least I did. It was hardly a fight for you, miss perfect memory and intelligence! You've got it all!"

"Don't say you're jealous again."

"I am, kinda! But it's not like you're not lacking in some other areas, so ..."

"Shut up." I said defensively, knowing damn well where she was headed.

"But it's important! You haven't had a boyfriend in almost half a ye-"

"I told you that's off limits. I ... I just don't wanna talk about it, okay?"

"Eh, you're no fun. Is there something I don't know?"

"W-What do you mean?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I saw your ex today, we talked for a bit. He says he still misses you like crazy. And then there was this weird part where I asked him why you two broke up, since you wouldn't tell me ... and he said that you told him you couldn't be with him because you're in love with someone else."

_Ouch. How am I gonna get myself out of this?!_

"Tha- That was just an expression! I just said it out of nowhere without thinking about it!"

"Who is it?"

"But I just told you there isn't anyone!"

"And I know when my best friend is lying - your left eye is twitching just a little. You're too obvious."

I sighed, watching as she gulped down her first glass and began to pour another.

_She's not gonna let this go, is she? I can't tell her, there's no way in hell I can tell her, she'd think I've gone completely mental ... well, I'm not saying I haven't. Still, no way I'm ever telling her that I have feelings for Ryu! But if I don't say anything, she'll just keep digging ... damn, I'll have to make something up._

"You ... you don't know him."

"How can I not know him?!"

"Chill, it's not like we have all the same classes together! He's from one of my advance classes."

"Heeeeeell dammit, another smart ass? So, why haven't you asked him out yet?"

_Good question._

"I can't. He has a girlfriend. They've been together for like, ages. There's no way I'm getting in between that."

"Oh ... oh ... oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know, I thought you were just being shy for no reason again, I'm sorry, I didn't wa-"

"It's okay. Maybe listen to me next time I tell you to shut up?"

"I will. I promise." She said, already on her fourth glass. "Though, can I ask what is that made you fall in love with him? Like, what kind of person is he?"

_Hmm ... if I tell her why I fell for Ryu in the first place, she probably won't connect the dots ... so it should be fine._

"Honestly ... I don't even know how it happened." I mumbled, closing my eyes as images of Ryu smiling and running around flashed in my mind. "We started talking to each other for some reason and he is really fun to be around. He's loud and extremely assertive ... there's no way you can miss his presence when he's in the same room with you! Sometimes, he tries too hard to look tough and scary because he doesn't want to accept the fact that deep down in his heart, he's a really soft person. He laughs a lot, and it's a really mesmerizing laugh ... I could watch it for hours and not get bored."

Lying down on the floor, she mumbled a few curse words which I wasn't able to make out.

"What did you say?"

"I SAID SCREW HIM!"

"Saeko, calm down."

"I REFUSE! I bet my ass his girlfriend isn't as awesome as you, so SCREW HIM for having another girl!"

_Yup, that's it. As often as you drink, someone would think your alcohol tolerance is considerably higher, but nope - four glasses of whiskey is where you lose it. Saeko, you're such a wreck. My favorite wreck, but still. That's why I'll never tell you that I'm in love with your brother ... it would upset you too much, I can see it._

_Well ... maybe I'll tell you years later once I manage to get rid of these stupid feelings all together._

Sighing softly, I poured water in her glass as she continued to lay on the floor and curse the non-existing guy. I then flopped on her bed and turned on the TV, trying to distract myself from the fact that Ryu was just down the stairs from us. So close ... yet so far away.


	3. Chapter 3

At the same time, Ryu was in his room, trying desperately to focus on his books.

Without success - out of forty equations he went through, he only got twelve of them right. He pushed himself away from his desk, leaning back in his chair.

"Arrrrghhh. Dammit. Dammit!"

Slowly, he brought his hand towards his face, pressing his palm against his cheek. Closing his eyes, he whispered into the emptiness of his room:

"It's almost like ... her warmth is still left from that high five."

His voice was trembling, sounding heavy and painful. Before he knew it, a tear escaped from the corner of his eye.

_Why am I thinking this again ... why does sis bring you over all the time? Why are you so nice to me, why is your smile so bright, why is it so adorable when you get flustered at small things like exams or being late for work? I can't focus on anything else ... I keep seeing you whenever I close my eyes._

He swiftly stood up, grabbing his phone before jumping headfirst onto his bed and hiding his face in his pillow. Since his number was the first on the speed dial, calling Noya didn't take much time and lucky for Ryu, his best friend answered the call almost immediately:

"Yo! Sup? You done with math yet? I'm so gonna fail this bro, just watch me! Summer classes here I come!"

"Noya ..."

"Yes?" He asked, calming down almost immediately after sensing that something was wrong.

"I need a reality check ... again."

Sighing on the other end of the line, Noya paused for a moment and then began to say the lines he's repeated over and over like a broken record so many times already:

"Ryu, you're just a high school kid. She's an adult woman. She sees you as nothing more than Saeko's little brother."

"Yes."

"You're crazy and wild, but she's calm and reserved. You probably get on her nerves most of the time anyway."

"Yes."

"Not to mention, you're just a punk and she's drop dead gorgeous. Even if she doesn't have a boyfriend right now, there's definitely a ton of men she can pick from. Men, you hear me? Not boys like you."

"Yes."

"And while you will barely make it through high school math classes, she's the top student in one of the hardest college courses - you told me yourself that the only advanced class she's not taking is English, and even that only because she already passed that final two years ago."

"Yes."

"Ryu, she's too damn good. Even if she were a girl sitting next to you in class, she'd be out of your league by about the same margin as Tsukishima is taller than me - which is, a lot. But she's 5 years older than you. She has a job, her own apartment and if Saeko doesn't fix her driving soon, I'm pretty sure she'll also go and get a driving license just so she won't have to ride in her van anymore. You two live in two different worlds and you damn well know that."

"I know ... but still ... why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do I want to hold her in my arms so much it hurts? Why is my heart still racing now even though she's upstairs with sis? Why is talking to her so fun, why is she such an amazing person, why do we always laugh together? And why ... why am I in love with her?"

"Sorry ... you know I don't have an answer for that. Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah ... I have to pull myself together anyway because I have to go upstairs and ask her for help ... I just don't get these equations - what a pathetic person, aren't I?"

"You and I both, if that's the case. Come on bro, you'll be fine. In a few years, you're gonna totally forget about her, you're gonna have a wonderful girlfriend and we're gonna joke all the time about the good old days when you were desperate for your sister's best friend! It's gonna be hilarious, I promise!"

"Thanks Noya, you're the best. See ya at school tomorrow."

"Dude ... tomorrow's Saturday and we don't even have practice. Get your act together, please."

"Uhm ... yeah, I messed up. See ya on Monday then." Ryu mumbled, hanging up the phone.

Taking a few deep breaths, he stood up and headed towards Saeko's room with slow, steady steps.

_It's gonna be hilarious ... one day, yeah, I have no doubts about that ... but right now, it just hurts._

 

_~~~_

 

I jumped up at the sudden knock on the door. "Y-Yes?"

The door slowly opened and Ryu poked his head through the crack, first looking at Saeko on the floor and then at me. "She passed out already?"

I nodded. "She gulped down four glasses of whiskey before her enthusiasm drowned. Thanks for checking up on her but don't worry, she's in good hands."

"Actually, I came here because I need your help. Can you explain quadratic equations?"

I hopped off the bed, throwing a blanket over Saeko before I followed him back to his room. "Sure I can, no problem."

Walking in front of me, his shoulders seemed unusually slumped as he mumbled: "I'm so sorry to bother you all the time. You must really think I'm stupid."

"I don't think that. You're just not good with math, right?"

"Yeah ... or any other subject pretty much."

"But you're an incredibly good volleyball player! No one is good at everything, you just have different talents, that's all!"

"Th-Thank you."

I couldn't help but smile at the way he stuttered.

_You're usually so confident and out there ... it's rare to see you so self-conscious, but you're so adorable when you're like this! Ah, you're not helping at all, Ryu ... you're not helping at all._

We sat down at his desk together and one by one, I began to explain the problems he didn't understand. It took some time, but eventually, he caught on to it well enough for me to give him a few examples to try to solve.

"So then ... here, I just break this into two parts like this?"

"Yes, you almost have it!"

"Uhm .... so either x plus 3 is zero or x minus 2 is zero. So the first x is minus 3 and the second is 2!"

"Yes, but this one has an extra condition that requires x to be positive so you have to rule out one of the solutions you got, if you look here ..." I reached out my arm to point out the text of the assignment again, but as I did so, my hand suddenly landed on top of his.

I stared at our hands, startled by the warmth underneath my fingers. In panic, I turned my head to see his expression but instead of his profile, I was met with his grey eyes staring at me in confusion, his face close enough that our noses almost touched.

I froze to the spot. Unable to look away, we stared at each other for what seemed like a decade. I felt as if the ground was being swept away from underneath me as his warm breath hit my face; I watched as he closed his eyes, leaning just a bit closer, enough to remove the remaining gap between our lips.

In a trance, I eventually closed my own eyes as well: the shock of our kiss died down and a warm sensation took its place. Slowly, he lifted his hand to my face, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear and resting his palm on my cheek, but in the same moment, we heard footsteps tumbling down the stairs, accompanied by an enthusiastic scream:

"Oooooiiiii, where did my favorite smart ass go??"


	4. Chapter 4

We pulled apart merely a second before Saeko bust the door open, stumbling towards me still half drunk:

"Ooooooiii, is Ryu being a dumbass again?! Bad Ryu, very bad Ryu! You have to learn maths by yourself, otherwise you're never gonna-"

I quickly grabbed her hand. "Let's get you back to your room." I said firmly, pulling her out of the room without giving Ryu another look. My heart, torn to shreds, was still racing inside my chest and my entire face was red as I pushed the not-so-sober mess of my best friend into her bed, tucking her in with a blanket to make sure she'd sleep until morning this time. Making no sound, I took my bag and left the house as fast as I could.

I walked towards the bus station: my fast steps turned to agitated running and the frustrations inside of me came out through my lips in the form of a pathetic, hopeless scream:

"Gwaaaaah! Dammit!"

The fresh evening air hitting my face didn't help at all - my cheeks were still burning, yet my lips felt as if they froze over. I slowly brought my fingers to where his lips met mine just minutes ago and truly, I've never felt as lonely in my whole life as I did after our kiss was over.

_A kiss ... an accident. Something horrible that should never have happened. Another mistake, if I elaborate my earlier thoughts. But ... but ... Ryu!_

I shook my head, tears on each side of my face. My thoughts were still running wild even when I already sat on the bus back home and in the end, not even the walk to my apartment managed to calm me down: I fell asleep in turmoil and panic, unable to erase the feeling of his lips on mine and his hand brushing up against my cheek.

 

~~~

 

The next day, Noya and Ryu were the last two left in the club room after practice. Noya waited for his best friend to say something, but there was absolutely nothing.

"Man, are you okay?"

"W-Why."

"You haven't said a word the whole practice. Like, really, not even a single word!"

"Mhm."

"Look, if you're that love sick you're gonna have to distract yourself, go date someone else or-"

"I kissed her."

Noya dropped the shirt he was holding. "You what?!"

"She was helping me with math and we ... our hands touched and I looked at her and she had this ... this beautiful look in her eyes and then she looked at me too and we just stared at each other and the whole world stopped and I couldn't hold myself back anymore and I just ... I kissed her."

"And?!"

"Sis came downstairs, completely drunk and ... I pulled away just before that. And she ... she just took sis out of my room and then left a few minutes after. She didn't even look at me! You were right, Noya, you were right, I mean nothing to her! I just embarrassed her, but ... " Ryu stuttered, on the verge of tears.

"Aww, come here. Dammit." Noya mumbled, offering a shoulder to cry on.

"... but for me, that moment was everything! I felt like my whole life flashed before my eyes, like my soul was reborn the moment our lips met! The warmth of her lips on mine ... it made me realize just how much ... how much I love her. And then it was over. Gone in a second ... and I just wished it would last forever, I wished I could take her into my arms and tell her how I'm hurting without her, how much I need her, how ... how ... how perfect I think she is!"

"Ryu, oi, that's not good ... I told you not to say it out loud. You're just making it worse."

"I don't care! I want to scream it at the top of my lungs: I love her! With every breath left in me, I love her! She is my everything and I love her!"

 

Too useless to do anything else, Noya held the shaking mess of a future ace until he finally stopped crying. Taking extra care, he walked him home and watched after him until he was safely inside the house before turning to leave, shaking his head in disbelief for the shitty situation that unfolded right before his eyes and left him unable to help out at all.

Ryu slowly walked down the hallway, dreading the moment when he'd have to see her again. But surprisingly, only Saeko's voice echoed from the kitchen:

"Heyaaa, how was school?"

"Good." He said, looking through the door as he walked by. "A-Are you alone today?"

She nodded.

"Wh- I mean, that's unusual."

"Come on, I'm my own person! Miss smart ass has an exam coming up that got moved to an earlier date, so she won't be coming around for a while - she's doing that binge studying thing again. But don't you dare act like I need her around!"

_It's not you that needs her ... it's me, you oblivious idiot._

Ryu smirked, trying to hide his pain. "Whatever, sis, whatever."

He went to his room, dropping his bag on the floor and falling into his bed. Slowly, tears began to roll down his face again while he tried his best to fall asleep, but running away from his troubles was pointless - even he knew that. The day he would wake up into wouldn't be any better than the previous one ... and somewhere inside his heart, a gloomy feeling was telling him that many treacherous, painful days awaited him in the near future.

 

~~~

 

"... and that's the story of how she hasn't come over to our house for the past 3 weeks." Ryu mumbled to Noya as they were walking home from practice a few weeks later.

"Man, I feel sorry for you. I mean, she is clearly avoiding you."

"Thanks, captain obvious. But I can't really blame her ... She doesn't know anything about the feelings I have for her. It must have looked like I just took advantage of her as a joke or something. And if she has a boyfriend right now, then it's even worse! So yeah ... I kinda see why she wouldn't want to see me again. But sis really misses hanging out with her, it's starting to show and ... dammit, I don't wanna be the reason why my sister loses her best friend! I should at lease be able to fix that ..."

"What are you gonna do about it?"

Ryu looked to the ground, a bittersweet smile flashing across his lips. "Something stupid, probably."

"Ey, that's not an answer! You better not do something without telling me about it!"

"Sorry, Noya ... cover for me tomorrow, will you?"

"Cover for y- wait!" Noya yelled after him, but Ryu was already running down his street towards his house. Slumping his shoulders, Noya walked on alone, a little upset about the whole situation. "Cover for you, cover for you what?! Just running off like that and shit ... dammit Ryu, you'll lose your mind over this damn woman."

 

~~~

 

Ryu's eyes shot open as he flailed around to turn off the beeping of his alarm. He then held his breath and waited a few minutes, paying close attention to the sounds coming from upstairs. When he didn't hear anything, he slowly got up and went to get dressed.

_5 AM - I was right, it is early enough so that sis won't be awake yet._

He tiptoed around the kitchen, promptly avoiding all the creaking floor tiles as he gulped down two bowls of cereal before grabbing his jacket and heading out the door. All that was left behind him was a note on the kitchen table: "Morning sis! Sorry I couldn't have breakfast with you - I forgot we had an even earlier morning practice today. Sorry again!"

_With that there, there's no way she'll think something's out of place. I'll sort this out today. I'll fix everything that can be fixed. I'd be a coward if I didn't at least try._

Deep in thought, he sat on the first morning bus to Sendai. Once he got off at his destination and walked out of the station, the melancholy inside of him was slowly washed away by nervousness and fear. He walked the bustling streets with his gaze dropped to the ground, his fingers shaking as he tightly held onto the piece of paper on which he had written the address.

_It really is stupid ... all I can do is pray that the stuff in sis' address book was correct. Please ... I just need that much luck._

He pondered his options one last time as he finally stood before a door on the first floor of an apartment complex.

_Dammit ... shit. My hands are shaking so much. But I can't chicken out now. There can only be one wimp at Karasuno and that spot's taken by Asahi - so I have to pull myself together right now!_

Slapping his face with both hands, he stepped forward and knocked on the door.


	5. Chapter 5

I was slouching on the sofa in my kitchen, waiting for the water to boil for my coffee while still wearing my pajamas. A sudden knocking sound woke me up from my drowsiness as I stood up and glanced at the door.

_Newspaper's this late today? It's already past 6:30 to begin with ... but then again, it doesn't really matter. It's not like I was awake any earlier, heh ..._

I opened the door and to my surprise, I was met with Ryu standing in front of me, looking up at me with sad, drooping eyes.

"H-Hey ..." He stuttered, trying his best to smile. "Can I come in? I ... I have to tell you something."

Shocked to see him, I nodded and stepped back, letting him into my apartment.

He gazed around for a second before looking at me again. Out of nowhere, he suddenly bowed before me as the words spilled from his mouth:

"I came to apologize. I made a mistake. I shouldn't have kissed you. I know you never want to see me again, I know you're avoiding me on purpose ... but sis got caught up in this for no reason! She's been really sad since you stopped hanging out with her in the afternoons, she says she's fine but she isn't, I swear, the house is a mess. I can't bear the thought of ruining your friendship, so please ... come over again. I'll get lost, I'll go somewhere else, I'll hang out with the volleyball club until evening every day, anything so you won't have to see me ... please! The fact that I hurt you is hard enough to live with, I can't have you lose your best friend because of it as well!

"T-The fact that you hurt me ...?" I mumbled in confusion.

He raised his head back up, our eyes meeting as he did so. He nodded, a faint smile on his lips: "Yeah ... I want to apologize for that the most. And I ... I want you to know that I didn't want to take advantage of you. It wasn't ... it wasn't a joke to me! You see, the truth is .... I'm in love you. I've been in love with you for I don't know how long ... I can't remember anymore. You started out as just my sister's cool friend but sometime after I got to high school, I started having these feelings ... and they didn't go away. I know how inappropriate this is of me ... but in that moment ... my emotions got the better of me."

I stood before him, speechless after hearing his confession, my hands shaking and blood visibly rushing to my face. It barely took seconds before I felt tears in the corners of my eyes, but I tried fiercely to push them back:

"Ryu-"

To no avail. As soon as I uttered his name, everything became too much and I looked away from him, staring to the floor as tears began to rain down from my eyes. My whole face was burning as the memory of his kiss washed over me for what seemed like the millionth time already. Instinctively, I touched my lips, trying to stop the warmth in my memory from leaving. But as I did so, I was suddenly pulled into a hug, two strong arms holding me tight.

I heard his voice, quiet and raspy as he spoke right next to my ear:

"I ... I don't know what I'm doing. I have no idea. Slap me if I screwed up again, but I can't ... I can't just stand and watch you cry."

Barely able to stand on my own feet anymore, I reached my arms around his back, pulling him closer to me. "Ryu ... Ryu .... Ryu!" I couldn't stop myself from closing my eyes and calling his name ... and with every word that left my lips, he held me tighter and closer than before.

"I'm here, I'm right ... here." He whispered, his lips brushing softly against mine.

Slowly, he kissed me again. His warmth shot through me like an arrow, the same way it did when we first kissed - but this kiss was different. We were wrapped in each other's arms with no intention to pull away any time soon. Our lips moved together and as soon as I found a second to breathe, he kissed me again, each new kiss deeper and more passionate than before. If our first kiss electrocuted me, these kisses had the exact opposite effect: instead of leaving me in shock, they completely melted my heart. Eventually, he paused for a while, both of us panting heavily as our lips still remained close enough to brush against each other when he spoke:

"I love you ... oh, you have no idea how much I love you!"

"Ryu ... I feel the same way."

He pulled back slightly, sparks jumping around in his wide open eyes: "Y-You do?!"

"Yes ..."

"But ... But ... How?!"

"I don't even remember anymore ... all I know is that sometime last year, I was looking at you and realized that you ... you mean too much to me. I can't get enough of hearing your voice and seeing you laugh, I can't look away from your smile. All this time, I ... I ..."

He pulled me closer to him again, kissing my cheeks where the tears were just moments before. Drowning in his warmth, I finally managed to say what I felt in my heart this whole time:

"... I love you too. Ryu, I love you! I was scared ... I didn't want to tell you ... I didn't think I could ever tell you, I didn't think you'd ever feel the same!"

"But I do. I feel exactly the same. I love you, and I want to tell you that a million times!"

 

Laughing in each other's arms, we continued to kiss until sudden whooshing sounds coming from my stove stole our attention.

I ran to turn off the heat before boiling water would spill over and I heard him chuckle as he watched me.

"W-What?"

"Just an assumption but ... did you wake up right before I got here?"

"It's your fault for coming so early."

"I'm sorry ... I didn't know if and when you have classes today, so I just took the first bus. And I also didn't want sis to notice anything."

At the mention of Saeko, the atmosphere in the room suddenly got uncomfortably tense. I dropped my gaze to the floor, but in the next moment, I felt his arms around me again. I slowly returned his embrace as he asked what's been on both of our minds:

"So ... what does this mean for us? I mean ... what happens now?"

"Ryu ... I don't know. It's not like you did yourself a favor by falling for me."

"I know - but I still love you. If this would be just another one of my dreams, I'd already ask you to be my girlfriend ... but it's not that easy. I'm terrified, actually. For the past few weeks, sis has been going on and on about your ex ... I hear he graduated a year early and already has his own business and ... I can't exactly compare to that. I'm nothing more than a high school kid and as much as I want to make you happy, I don't even know if I've got what it takes ... or if I deserve you at all."

Pulling him closer to me, I whispered with a pained smile: "Fun fact ... I broke up with that guy because I couldn't keep lying to myself about the feelings I have for you - so you already won that race months ago. But I know what you mean ... I'm scared too. You should be having fun while you're still in high school ... and I doubt that being in a relationship with someone this much older than you would be fun for long. If anything, I'd just chain you down."

"But what if ... what if I don't mind being chained to you?" He mumbled, softly kissing my lips. "What if all I want is to be with you ... and call you mine?"

"Ryu ... we'd have to hide from everyone and-"

"I know."

His lips covered mine again and I gave in to his kiss completely. He leaned back, falling on the sofa and pulling me down with him so we ended up lying next to each other, our eyes meeting each time we pulled back to breathe. His arms tightened around me and instinctively, I wrapped mine around his neck, wanting to keep him this close forever. He slowly stroked my hair, tugging on the loose strands between his fingers as I parted my lips, letting his tongue dance with mine for what seemed like an eternity.

Pulling away completely breathless, his yes were still fixated on me. After watching me for a while, he smiled and buried his face in my neck: "Gaaaaah, I must suck at kissing."

"W-Why would you say that?"

"Don't you know? I ... uhm ... I never had a girlfriend or anything."

"Really?!"

"Yeah! Wasn't it obvious? Or did you think sis was just joking all the times she told me to finally get a girl?"

I chuckled. "I never take Saeko seriously. But your kisses ... they're a lot like you: hot, wild, they steal my breath away and ... I can't get enough of them."

He grinned, ruffling my hair. "So that means I can kiss you as much as I want? Awesome! I was kinda worried that I was the only one hooked on this feeling!" He exclaimed proudly as he kissed me again.

My head began to spin as he rained kisses down on my lips, nose, neck, ... any place he could reach.

"Ryu ... you're almost too much for me."

"Am I keeping you away from college yet? Should I stop?"

I quickly shook my head. "I don't have classes on Tuesdays anymore, I finished all those exams already."

"That's my genius ... but in that case, you're all mine today. Even if it's just for today, can I call you mine?"

"Of course I'm yours!" The words came out of my mouth on their own, but I couldn't take them back if I wanted to: partially because they were the truth, but mostly because he kissed me right after I said them.

We spent the rest of the day in each other's arms, laughing, talking and kissing the entire time. When we kissed for the last time before he left in the evening, I felt like my heart would break just from being away from him for a second. Watching his back as he walked away down the street, worries started to dwell in my heart and I had to close my eyes to stop myself from crying.

_Ah ... I knew this wouldn't be easy on my heart to begin with ... I mean, it never was. Would I suffer less if I told him that I don't have feelings for him? Probably yes ... but I also wouldn't get to experience this overwhelming happiness. I really love him. I love Ryuunosuke with all my heart._

_And I know now more than ever that I'll never be able to stop loving him_


	6. Chapter 6

Months seemed to fly by once we got together. I started hanging out with Saeko in the afternoons again and as fun as it was to be in my usual rhythm again, it was also hard for Ryu and I to be so close to each other and not show our emotions. I still helped him with math and getting a kiss was reward enough for him to surprisingly start doing his best to keep up with my explanations. Every now and then, he convinced me to let him skip school so he could visit me in Sendai and the days we spent all alone together were my favorite ... and I think they were his favorite too. We went around on dates in places I knew Saeko would never happen to see us, we always held hands and laughed a lot, we watched TV together in the afternoons and he always praised my cooking when I made lunch for us at home instead of taking him out. But we spent most of the time in silence, cuddling on the sofa or having pillow fights in my bed until I would finally give up on trying to win. Lying in his arms was still the best feeling in the world, second only to the immense happiness we felt when kissing each other. Our kisses haven't calmed down at all: they remained passionate exchanges of feelings that were too overwhelming for both of us, too strong to put into words ... and yet his lips on mine always said it perfectly: "I love you ... more than anything."

On one of those days, just when I was about to say goodbye to him at my door, he suddenly stepped back inside, hugging me tight.

"Ryu?!" I called out, startled by the unexpected embrace.

"I'm sorry ... I just can't get myself to leave." He whispered, closing his eyes as he placed soft kisses on my nose, trailing over my lips, across my jaw and down my neck. "You're too much for me ... my head starts spinning whenever I kiss you, but it's even worse when I'm not kissing you. Being away from you is the worst!"

I sighed, hugging him back. "You're not the only one who feels like that ... this whole apartment is so empty when you're not here."

He rested his head on my shoulder, his lips still lightly pressed against my neck. I could see a faint blush spread across his cheeks as he began to speak: "You know ... I've been thinking about something ... uhm ... I know I just started 3rd year now, but if ... if I could I get into a college in Sendai... maybe we could ... "

"We could live together?"

"Yeah. If you'd want me here."

"There's no way I wouldn't want you ... but Ryu ... that means we'd have to tell Saeko about us."

"Heh ... it used to be easier, hiding it from her."

"What do you mean?"

He looked up at me, smiling as he touched my cheek. "When we first started dating ... I was completely high on you. I couldn't even think about anything else ... well, I mean ... I did think I wasn't good enough for you. I was afraid these feelings would disappear once I got to be with you, but they didn't. I thought I couldn't possibly love you more than I already did ... and I was wrong. Because with every second spent next to you, I fell more and more in love with you. At the beginning, I was blinded by this love, but now I can see past it too - I can see that, at least for me, there isn't any other future than being by your side. That's all I have. All I want. But that means that eventually, we'll have to tell Saeko, and our parents, and everyone else."

"Ah, Ryu ... why do you always manage to say the things I can't say?"

"Because I'm an obnoxiously loud person and I talk too much. And I love you too much."

"Then ... you'd really move in with me next year?"

"Yeah! I mean, it's almost a whole year away but yes, I'd love to!" He hugged me even tighter, laughing as I squirmed in his arms. "But then, I think we should start telling people about us."

"Yes. I don't want to hide anymore either: I don't care how much we'll upset some people, I want to tell everyone that you're mine and that I love you!"

Smiling, he pressed his forehead against mine as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "So, if you'll allow me, I'll set the wheels in motion ... I just hope she doesn't get a heart attack or something."

We fell silent as the phone rang, Saeko's name on the screen. But it wasn't an uncomfortable or scary silence anymore ... it was a silence of relief and confidence.

"Ryuuuuuu, hey!!" She picked up eventually, screaming into the phone like usual.

"Heeeey, sis! Are you home right now?"

"Of course I'm home, idiot! I'm waiting for you to get back from practice and I'm making dinner right now! Rice omelettes, not burn this time, I swear! Are you coming home yet?"

"Yeah, I'm almost on my way. But uhm ... it will take a bit longer."

"Why? Are you going somewhere with Noya again?! I want to come too!! You kids have all the fun without me!"

"I'd invite you to go with us, but ... I'm not at practice today."

"Huh?"

"I'm in Sendai. With my girlfriend."

"Sendai? Why are y- WAIT WHAT?? GIRLFRIEND? RYUUNOSUKE WHAT BAD JOKE IS THIS?!"

"It's not a joke. I've had a girlfriend for months now."

"Why ... why haven't I heard anything about that?"

"Because you'll probably beat me up when you see her. We'll be there soon, sis. Sorry." He mumbled, ending the call.

"She did not take that well." I said, chuckling to try to hide my nervousness without success.

"Don't let your nerves get you now, my love. Get your jacket and let's go see her ... and hopefully, she doesn't throw us both out."

 

Holding hands, we walked out together, making our way to the bus station with determination and hope in our hearts.


	7. Chapter 7

It wasn't long before we got to his house. Walking in, he called out to Saeko who came running down the stairs only seconds later. Seeing me next to Ryu with our hands linked, she stopped halfway. I watched as she opened her mouth and closed it again a few times, like a fish out the water. Her expression was a mixture of surprise, shock and anger before eventually falling flat as she walked past us, heading for the kitchen without even giving us a second glance.

We followed behind her, watching her sit at the table as she ran her fingers through her hair without looking up.

Squeezing my hand tighter, Ryu took a step forward. "Sis, I'm sor-"

"Don't."

We both froze at the cold tone of her voice.

"Don't do things you have to apologize for." She sighed, throwing her head back. "I thought I told you that a million times already." She then gazed at me with an expressionless look on her face. "Say ..."

"Y-Yes?"

"How are we gonna explain this to our parents?" She mumbled, her lips slowly turning into a devilish smile.

"We ... uhm ... what?!" I uttered, unable to keep up with her train of thought.

Grinning like a cat, she pointed from her to Ryu. "Our parents. We have to explain this somehow. I'm waiting for your suggestions."

"You ... you ... you're okay with us dating?!"

She shook her head. "I'm shocked. And pissed off because you both lied to me for however long this has been going on. Not to mention that you're light years older than him, and he's my little brother - but!" She suddenly stood up and walked over to me, placing her hand on my shoulder. "But, it's you.  I have never seen you make a wrong decision, or pursue something half-heartedly, or give up on something. I have to admit, I always wished Ryu could find a girl like you someday ... so I guess if it's you, I have no problems. You do love him, right?"

I nodded furiously, a single tear rolling down my cheek as I smiled at her compliments. Before I knew, Ryu pulled me into a tight hug and kissed away the tear before it fell off my chin.

"Sorry about that ... she cries a lot, about the most random things." He mumbled, smiling at Saeko.

In turn, she threw her arms around us both and started laughing like a maniac: as always, her laughter was contagious enough so that we were all laughing just seconds after.

It took a while before I was able to calm down and collect my thoughts again. Still leaning against Ryu's chest, I glanced at Saeko:

"Just to remind you ... Light years are a unit of distance. You can't be light years older than someone!"

Ryu pulled me closer to him, chuckling. "I love it when you point out stuff like this! It's so funny ... and kinda cute." He mumbled before kissing me on the nose.

Saeko sighed, staring at us: "Holy shit, I'm not getting used to this anytime soon. Though ... I was being serious before, you know?"

Ryu nodded, scratching his head. "Yeah, I know .... Mom's gonna freak out. I mean, I'm still surprised you didn't!"

"I try to be a supportive sister, thank you very much!" She exclaimed, picking up a bottle of vodka from the counter. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go celebrate and drown my shock."

She was almost out the door already when Ryu called out to her: "Hey, I was about to ask you something ..."

"Yeah?"

He stroked my hair, blushing slightly. "Well, you know ... It's kinda late already, so I was thinking ... Can she stay over?"

Saeko laughed, throwing her head back. "Ryu, you idiot! The fact that she's your girlfriend doesn't change the fact she's always been welcome here in the first place. Go ahead, have fun - but keep in mind, I don't wanna be an aunt yet!"

His face red after her comment, he tugged on my arm once Saeko was gone from the kitchen. "I hope it's okay with you ..."

I nodded as I followed him to his room. As soon as the door closed behind us, I found myself back in his embrace, his head buried in my neck.

"Ryu?"

"I'm sorry ... I'm just so happy right now. I was so scared of what sis would do ... But it's over now. I promise, I'll make mom and dad understand too, I know I will ... But right now, I don't want to think about that. I just want to be with you."

I smiled, wrapping my arms around him as he slowly kissed my neck. His hot, fevered breath hit my skin, making its way up to my lips. Leaving a slight peck, he looked up and our gazes met, revealing the fire in his eyes. A shiver traveled down my spine as he traced my lips with his thumb, his eyes still fixed on me with a perplexed look.

"If ... If I don't let go of you for the rest of the night, will you hate me?"

"I won't."

"Even if I kiss you more than I've ever kissed you before?"

I shook my head, pulling him closer to me as his lips covered mine in the next moment. Wasting no time, he lifted me into his arms and carried me to his bed, kissing me again as we sunk into the sheets, holding tight in each other's embrace.

"Oh, how much I love you ... You're my everything. I'll never let you go. I love you, I love you so much!" He whispered between kisses as we both panted, completely out of breath.

Taking over his lips before he could say any more, I couldn't help but smile as I returned his kisses. "I love you too ... You know that ... But I'll show it to you over and over again."

He ran his fingers through my hair while I parted his lips with my tongue, twining and battling with his until I eventually lost and his lips took over mine completely.

_Ryu ... You're my everything too. You're the one I still dream about even now when loving you is my reality. I don't have enough words to tell you how madly I'm in love with you ... But I hope my kisses can say what I can't._


	8. Chapter 8

"Mind you, I'm coming in!"

Ryu and I were woken up by a loud knock before Saeko came bursting through the door. Still wrapped in Ryu's arms, I squinted my eyes, trying to avoid the bright morning sunlight.

''Ah, aren't you two just adorable! Now move your asses, I'm making breakfast!"

A short while later, we joined her in the kitchen as the smell of slightly burnt eggs filled the air. Biting down on the omelet, Ryu smirked at me: "I'm not saying sis is a bad cook, but your cooking is waaaaaay better! Why don't you do me a favor and teach her some of that too instead of only tutoring her for school?"

I couldn't help but chuckle a little: "I can teach her English, that doesn't mean I can make miracles happen! What next, you're gonna ask me to teach her how to drive too?"

Saeko took her own plate and sat down next to us, pointing her fork at me: "You have all the correct amounts of sass at all the wrong times! You diss me all the time, but then when we go out, you barely speak to people!"

"That's because I already feel bad enough for everyone else ... I mean, they have to survive with you out on the streets!"

"Gaaaah, my poor fragile heart! You've picked a good one, Ryu, you sneaky bastard! You're gonna be the talk of the school when this gets out! Which reminds me - have you told the team yet?"

We both shook our heads before Ryu mumbled: "Noya's the only one who knows anything. I thought everyone else would just blab it out eventually, and we didn't want that."

"Noya knows?! Noya?! Him of all people? Ryu, l'm pretty open-minded, but come on... when Noya is your most reliable person for keeping a secret, you know something weird is going on! That rascal never keeps his mouth shut!"

"He did on this one." Ryu shrugged his shoulders, putting more food on his plate.

"Well, speaking of secrets, I thought we'll have time to plan for the big reveal, but it doesn't look like it." She said, throwing her phone to Ryu across the table. "I got mom's text this morning."

Perplexed, he looked back up after reading the messages. "They're coming over tomorrow?!!"

"Yap, an extended weekend trip. Which means we have to figure something out fast ... and clean the house while we're at it!"

I watched their interaction quietly, sipping my cup of tea.

_Come to think of it, Saeko talks about their parents a lot, but I've never once met them since we've been friends - that's kinda weird actually. Sure, l get the concept of independence, my parents don't frantically check up on me either, but one would think that would be different if I were still 16 and living with my reckless collage student sister ... Wait, is it possible that they DO visit often, but for some reason, Saeko made me avoid them?_

 As those thoughts formed inside my head, Saeko suddenly stepped up and yanked Ryu away from my side so that now both of them were facing me head on. Confused, I looked up to see her grinning at me:

"Ryu, important lesson on the mechanics of your girlfriend! See the face she was just making, looking slightly down with her head tilted as she bits her lip? That's the face she makes when she's figuring stuff out ... and if you've been hiding shit from her, that's the last face you'll get to see before she gets pissed at you."

It was all the confirmation I needed. "You've avoided me meeting your parents on purpose, haven't you?"

She timidly nodded. "Heck, if I had known we'd have to introduce you as Ryu's girlfriend someday, it would have been a much better option to just introduce you as my friend first, I agree. But there's a reason we try to avoid our friends meeting our parents ... I take it he hasn't told you?"

I shook my head, stealing a glance at Ryu who suddenly had a very apologetic look on his face.

"I'm not surprised, to be honest. And you, stop sulking and explain what she's gotten herself into."

Sighing heavily, Ryu took my hand and squeezed it tight. "The thing is ... dad's really fun and all, but mom ... she's not a bad person, but she's really overprotective of me."

I laughed at how serious he looked while saying that. "Really? That's it?"

"Y-yeah, but it gets really bad at times. After they moved, she went mental when I asked if l could stay back here with sis! We argued for months and even after she finally agreed, l still had to call her 3 times a day at first! So, like ... I have no idea how she would react to me getting any girlfriend, much less one that's already in college. But that doesn't change what I told you last night - I'll argue with her for years if I have to! Anything to make her understand how amazing you are ... and how much I love you."

Setting my cup down on the table, I smiled at him. "It's okay, Ryu. I'll try my best to get along with her as well!"

"Oh but you two are like totally different people!" Saeko chimed in. "She loves being the center of attention, loud crowds and the life in the big city ... I don't see a single conversation topic you'd have in common!"

"Well ... uhm ... we both love her son a lot?" I mumbled in an attempt to be funny. "Though you have a point there ... I'm not at all fond of big cities. Sendai can get too overwhelming for me already, I can't imagine how fast paced life in Tokyo must be!"

"Didn't you have an internship there last year?" Ryu asked, standing up from the table to fetch more food.

"I did, but that's completely different! At least for me, taking the train every day is nowhere near as stressful as actually living there. To be honest, if I wouldn't get an invite from such a great accounting company, I wouldn't have gone at all. But while all their internships happen in Tokyo, they have offices in Sendai as well, so I still think that's a good job prospect."

"Accounting? But I thought your major was math ..."

I chuckled. "Ryu, don't you think mathematics and money have a lot in common? And besides, you should have seen all the extra Economy and Finance courses I've been taking, they're the sole reason I'm glad I'll graduate this year!"

"Were they hard?"

"No, boring. Actual accounting work is much more innovative! I got to experience that firsthand, even though my mentor was a bit more on the conservative, old school side of doing things. There were also some other ladies in the office I worked at, all of them super nice and so focused, but always bringing up new ideas! We often took coffee breaks together, and ..."

As I went on recalling my internship, Saeko began washing the dishes. "Oi Ryu, go kiss her or something, she won't stop talking anytime soon."

Laughing, he took her up on the offer and kissed me before I had the chance to object. "You're always so cute when you talk about the things you like! But now, I really think we'll be fine!"

"Why?"

He turned to Saeko who had a look on confusion on her face. Smirking, he teased her: "Come on sis, I'm waiting."

"For what, you idio- oh wait, I'm the idiot! Of course you have a common conversation topic! Our mom's an accountant too, how did I not think of this ..."

"Because you're stupid!"

"You're one to talk!"

Ignoring their shenanigans, I walked back to Ryu's room to gather my things.

"Need a ride?" Saeko yelled out to the hallway.

"Not from you!" I said, hugging Ryu before I put on my shoes.

"So, about tomorrow ... is it okay if I invite you over for lunch with our parents?"

I nodded, jokingly giving him a thumbs up sign. "It's perfect! Just let me know the time, okay? I love you."

"Love you too."

And with that, I was out the door.


	9. Chapter 9

The next day, I enjoyed a leisurely midday walk to the bus station. By all means, I should have been at least a bit tense about meeting Ryu's parents, but I was feeling surprisingly calm for some reason. As I took my seat on the bus, I looked at his text once again and smiled:

"Dad said they'll be here at 3 ... but you're welcome anytime before that, of course. Also, Noya's mom made some cake and he's asking if you want some? He said he'll drop by too. ♥33"

_Ah, Ryu ... your texts never fail to make me feel optimistic about my day. I remember the first time I told you that typing multiple 3s when making a heart is pointless because it just gets you weird looking numbers next to one heart emoji ... and you smiled and said that you don't give a shit because those 3s are something extra and I deserve that._

I got to the Tanaka household in good spirits, hearing Noya's voice echo down the hall as soon as I walked through the door.

"Heeeereeee sheeee issss! My second favorite college person!"

"Good to see you too, Noya." I said, high-fiving him. "I'm glad to be so highly praised."

Saeko peeked out from the kitchen, waving to say hi. "Yuu, if she's second, does that make me first?"

Turning around, Noya bowed apologetically. "I am sorry but that spot has now been taken by Shimizu. You're a very close third place though."

As I laughed at his sincerity, Ryu came running down the hallway, spinning me in his arms and kissing me right away. Giving into his kiss for a moment, I soon pulled away, chuckling at the trace of something sweet on his lips.

"Is that cake I taste?"

He nodded, leading me into the kitchen where Saeko just started to prepare for lunch. "It's amazing, try some! Noya's mom is a baking genius!"

"Ryu, stop it! I told you already she only knows how to make like 3 different cakes and nothing else."

"Yeah, but they're always delicious!"

I stole a sideways glance at Saeko before dramatically lifting my hand up to my forehead: "Oh, sister, where has this house gone! Kids are eating cake before lunch and judging by the cook, that's still the only good tasting thing they'll get today!"

Wasting no time, she chucked a spoon in my direction. "Are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna offer your damn skills or what? We all know I can't cook for shit, no need to point it out."

"Sure, sure ..." I laughed, taking an apron as I began to help her out with the preparation of food.

 

Between our bickering and Ryu's occasional funny comments, time passed by faster than we could've imagined. Noya left shortly after, so the three of us were left to disperse our nervousness by ourselves: it worked for the most part, but when the doorbell rang a quarter past 3 in the afternoon, we all tensed up against our will.

"We'll get it, you stay here." Ryu said to me before he and Saeko walked out into the hallway.

Leaning against the kitchen counter, I absentmindedly looked at the chicken we just put in the oven a few minutes ago and tried to collect my thoughts.

_I've been told before that I have good communication skills ... I wonder if those apply here? If those two are right, their mom won't like this one bit ... then again, I can't really blame her - the way Ryu and I are, it's incredibly weird at first glance. It's okay ... it's okay ... it's okay ... we've got this._

Silently, I watched through the doorway, having a good view of most of the hallway. Their parents came in and I saw their dad put away the jackets with his back turned towards me, but their mom still remained out of my view. I could figure out where she was standing though, because I was able to see Ryu as he suddenly bowed his head in front of someone:

"Mom ... and dad, you too ... I have to apologize to you both."

_Wow ... in all these years, I've never once seen him so timid. Ryu almost doesn't seem like himself right now!_

Still out of my sight, her response was surprisingly affectionate: "Ryuunosuke, dear, did something happen in school? Don't worry so much, it's still the beginning of the year - one bad grade doesn't mean anything!"

_Why am I not surprised that she automatically thought he was apologizing for failing an exam?_

"No ... it's not that. It's ... it's something else. A few months ago, something wonderful happened to me. Something so wonderful, I was scared to death I'd lose it if I told you about it ... so I didn't tell anyone, even sis only heard about it a few days ago. I didn't want to lie to you, I really didn't! I know it was a wrong thing to do, but I ..."

His voice cracked and I was almost sure I saw tears on his face when he finally looked up and faced his mom.

"... I couldn't bear losing my biggest happiness. But lying to everyone isn't easy either, so please .... please, hear me out. Mom, I have a girlfriend ... she's Saeko's best friend from college, and I want you to meet her today." He said, turning his head towards me.

"Ryuunosuke, you ..." Her voice sounded almost numb from shock as she stepped forward so that I was now in her line of sight. For a second, I saw a fire flash in her eyes as her bottom lip twitched slightly, her mouth gaping open in surprise.

I've been meaning to give her a warm smile, but my actual expression probably wasn't much different from hers.

_Shit, this is bad._

We stared at each other for a while before she regained her composure, clutching her purse as she turned to Saeko with a cold, expressionless face:

"I see the chicken isn't done yet. Is that lousy caffe up the street still open?"

Dumbfounded, Saeko nodded.

"Good. Young miss and I will go sit down for a cup of coffee right now. Feel free to start lunch without us if we take too long."

Speechless, I followed after her as she turned to put her shoes back on.

"Mom, I'll go w-"

"No, you won't. I want a word with her in private."

In less than a minute, she was already out the door and I had to jog to catch up to her.

"Miss, -"

"Don't speak to me like that." She cut me off just as we reached the caffe. She sat down at the first empty table and motioned for me to do the same right when the waitress came by.

"Good day, ladies! What can I get you?"

She looked up at the waitress, a hint of a smile showing on her face. "One café au lait and one arabic black, no sugar."

Just like Saeko only minutes earlier, I was now the one with a dumbfounded look:

"You ... you remembered?!"

Flashing a cynical grin, she leaned back in her chair.

"Of course I did. You were the first intern I ever saw drink black coffee."


	10. Chapter 10

I lowered my gaze, feeling embarrassed. "It's the only kind of coffee that wakes me up."

Avoiding her gaze, I heard her chuckle. "Look at yourself ... it's almost as if you're trying to hide right now. That's not the girl who walked into our office last year! You gave that old geezer Arakawa a hard time when he turned down your innovations and you had zero problems pointing out the mistakes of regular employees - where's that confidence now?"

"W-With all due respect, that was my field of expertise."

She sighed. "The first day you came in, you helped me fix a printer, right?"

"Yes."

"And I told you back then that I hate all this respect being thrown around. It gets in the way of good work, right?"

"You told me that, yes. And then you refused to tell me your last name so you could force me to call you by your first name instead. Because formalities are the only thing worse than unnecessary respect ... that's what you said. That's why I didn't know that you ... you're Ryu's mother."

She nodded. "See, you managed to remember all that chit chat. Most of the college kids we get in every year are just that - kids. Confused, scared, hesitating, most of them even accepted through their parent's connections. But you ... you were one of those few who get invited on their own merit. Focused, intelligent, determined, ballsy when you knew you were right but humble and willing to learn when you made mistakes or found something you didn't know anything about. I trash talk Arakawa all the time, but when he got to mentor you ... that was the one and only time I was ever jealous of him. Because you waltzed in like you already belonged there. I never once saw you as a kid but rather as a charming and capable woman. So what I'd like to know right now ... is why a woman like you is fooling around with a high school kid."

Slowly, I clenched my fists under the table before gathering the courage to look her in the eyes as I spoke: "Fooling around: spending time idly, aimlessly or with a lack of seriousness and sense. Even if you tried, you couldn't have found a worse word to describe my relationship with Ryu ... but I understand your question, because I used to ask myself similar things all the time. Before Ryu, I had a wonderful boyfriend: he was a great man in all aspects. Graduated early, started his own successful business ... a truly mature person. Everyone always said that the two of us were a perfect match, and my logic agreed. But my heart kept me up at night, asking why ... why I had all that and wasn't happy. The reason was simple ... I didn't love him ... because Ryu is quite possibly the only one I could ever truly love."

"And that made it okay to ask out a boy 5 years younger than you?"

I shook my head. "I didn't ask him out. I never planned to let him know about my feelings ... until he showed up at my door one day and said he loves me."

"He .... loves you?"

I nodded. "We feel the same way about each other. None of us know exactly how or when it happened, but it happened. What Ryu and I have is ... well, I don't clearly know what it is ... but it's definitely not fooling around. Our time together is not at all idle or aimless: yes, there's a huge gap between us, but that gives us all the more opportunities to grow closer and work on our relationship - that's the goal we both share. And we're both serious about it."

She stared at me in slight disbelief. "But ... Ryuunosuke has never been serious about anything except volleyball."

"I thought so too. I feel in love with a hyperactive idiot ... but that idiot is growing up right in front of our eyes. Did he tell you what grade he got on his last math exam?"

"He didn't."

"Seventy percent. He almost failed last year, but ever since we started dating, he now spends much more time studying. I thought he was only trying to make me proud of him, but ... a few days ago, he mentioned going to college in Sendai. It's not something I ever expected from him, but I like to believe I brought it out. Which, after how worried I've been about how dating me would impact him, makes me feel kind of relieved."

"College? My rascal son wants to go to college?"

I nodded.

She stayed silent for a while and I was unsure of whether she accepted me or if she was angry with me.

She spoke after a while, her voice cold like a razor again. "One other question - what made lying to us okay?"

_I saw this coming. For a mathematician, this will be a weird thing to say, but I'll say it ... because it's what I really believe._

"Nothing. Neither Ryu nor I ever thought lying about our relationship was the right thing to do. But just like he said ... we didn't want anything to get in our way. I assume you've been in love before ... and had something you didn't want to lose at all costs?"

She glanced down at her hands, briefly touching her wedding ring. "Yes."

"Then I think you already know the answer. We lied because love makes us do stupid things."

She picked up the cup of coffee that's been sitting in front of her until then, seemingly attempting to change the topic: "They'll get cold."

I lifted mine to my lips, emptying it in one go. "I don't mind cold coffee."

"Your coffee preferences are just as weird as the kind of guys you fall in love with."

I chuckled. "I don't think Ryu'd want to be compared to anything coffee related ... he hates it."

She sighed again, this time looking out of the window. "I'm sure he'll get used to the taste of it soon enough. After all ... that boy grew up right before my eyes, figuratively speaking. A college girlfriend ... who would've thought."

"You're not happy about it, are you ..."

She shook her head. "Of course I'm not. Today, you've been my wake-up call - no one is happy about getting a wake-up call."

"Wake-up call?"

"Yes. I worry about him more than I should, I know that ... but until today, I think I might have let my worries influence his life a bit too much. Do I want to push you away from him so he can't possibly get hurt? Of course I do. But during this conversation we just shared ... you had the same spark in your eyes as he did when he looked at you in the hallway ... and I think that taking that spark away would hurt him as well. If he's found someone who's potentially worth getting hurt for ... I won't hold either of you back."

I smiled, surprised by her unexpected words. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"

She got up from the table, waving to the waitress. "Let's go back. Coffee's on me this time." She said as she paid for our drinks.

"Oh, I can't let y-"

"It's fine. I just interrogated my future daughter-in-law, the least I can do is pay for her coffee. Not to mention that you've pretty much already paid me back with a lunch."

"Huh?" I mumbled, blushing at her choice of words.

She laughed as we walked back down the street to the house. "Come on - I took one glance at that chicken and knew it wasn't Saeko's work. Smart, pretty and a good cook too - I have to tell Ryuunosuke that he found a keeper."

"I already know that, mom!" A sudden yell came from the yard just before we saw Ryu running up to us.

Without a second thought, he took me in his arms and kissed me right away, pulling away a short moment later.

"I was worried sick! Mom, why did you drag her out alone?! What did you talk about?! And what charm did she put on you to make you be okay with it?!"

Taking hold of his hand, I grinned mischievously. "Oh, that's a very good story ... it starts with a broken printer."

He gazed at me as the three of us walked back inside the house. "A broken printer? I'm confused ..."

"And I'm in love with you." I said, giggling as I kissed his cheek before taking my shoes off to follow his mom to the kitchen.

However, he yanked me back in the last moment, wrapping his arms around me to stop me from falling as he pressed his lips against mine.

"Ryu -"

"Shush. Whatever story it is, I have a bad feeling it's gonna take a while. And I ... I just want to have you all to myself for just one more second before I have to watch you talk to my dad and try to understand his bad jokes."

I laughed and kissed him back, the kiss quickly growing deeper.

With my last bit of sanity, I eventually pulled away. "Let's go, Ryu ... otherwise we both know this can take forever." I said, chuckling under my breath.

"Okay ... but I'm nowhere near done with you!" He exclaimed, taking my hand and following me to the kitchen with his signature goofy smile.

The smile I used to watch from afar ... the smile I could once only dream about ... the smile I fell in love with.

That smile was now right in front of me and much like the guy behind it, that smile was mine.

And there was no fear of losing it anymore ... because on that day, we finally bridged the gap between our different yet destined lives.


	11. The Epilogue

"Shit!" Ryu yelled loudly as he dashed after a ball that fell from his hands.

"Geez ... here you go." Tsukishima grumbled as he picked up the ball and threw it back to Ryu.

"T-thanks ... yo, are you alright?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Don't know man, you're usually far grumpier when someone drops the balls while cleaning up."

"Ah ... I guess I am. But I've been thinking about how your graduation is slowly getting closer and once you're gone, Hinata will be our ace and ... just the thought of it makes me kinda sick. So I thought I'd be a little nice to you while I still can ... because you're a good ace, Tanaka senpai."

"Tsukki, I'm deeply moved. But don't you lie to me, we all know you low key love Hinata just as much as we all do."

Fixing his glasses, he mumbled with discontent: "Please do not call me Tsukki. And I do not have any lingering affection towards the jumping orange. However, speaking about love ... aren't you gonna have an anniversary sometime soon? Is that why you're so nervous you keep dropping balls?"

Ryu nodded eagerly, glancing at his trembling hands. "Yeah, it's today actually."

"Got something special planned?"

"Yes! That's why I'm nervous actually, I have a big surprise ... yeah, let's just leave it at that."

Tsukishima sighed, picking up the last few mops that were lying around. "You sure are lucky ..."

"Why? I mean, I know I am, but why did you say that ... and wait, why are you blushing!?"

"I am not! And ... uhm ... it's nothing, really ... I just kinda ... have a thing for intelligent women."

Not a second later, a ball hit his head as Ryu jokingly yelled at him: "That one's mine, go find your own!"

"Yeah, yeah, I will ... but I sure as hell won't drop such a shocker on all of us like you did. When you came to introduce her, I thought it was a joke. Yamaguchi and I even had a bet how long you two would keep the joke up."

"That's kinda mean."

"I know, I'm not Kuroo - I've never been a nice person. What can I say though, she's too good for you."

"She sure as hell is. Be sure to lock up, okay?"

"Okay." Tsukishima mumbled to himself as he watched Ryu run towards the club room like the wind.

 

Busting the club room doors open, Ryu arrived just as Noya was about to leave.

"Hey, where are you running to?"

"Noya, where's your brain?! Today's our anniversary and I got stuck on clean up duty, now I gotta hurry so I don't make her wait!" He explained as he hastily changed his clothes.

"Oh shit, you're right! Dumbass, you should've just asked me to clean up instead of you!"

"You've already done enough, bro. Plus I feel bad seeing you clean, the mops are almost taller than you!"

"Hey, you ..."

"Sorry not sorry .... gaaah, almost done ... can you pass me my bag?"

"Sure." Noya said, reaching for Ryu's bag inside his locker. As he did, a small black box fell out of it.

With lighting speed, Ryu dived to catch it before it hit the ground. "Shit, I should've put it into a deeper pocket! Noya, you almost ruined my surprise! Well, I'll be off no-"

"Ryuunosuke."

"Huh?"

"Ryuunosuke Tanaka."

"Bro, what's with my full name?"

"Oh, you damn well know what." Noya mumbled, stepping closer so he was looking up at Ryu with a fierce look in his eyes. "Are. You. Effing. Insane?!"

"Nope! Sorry, but gotta go!" Ryu yelled out and ran out the club room before Noya could follow him.

Standing at the door watching his best friend run away, Noya ran a hand through his hair. "Damn ... well, I should've seen it coming, I guess. Ryu, dammit. I was right about you from the day I first saw you play volleyball - you are absolutely out of your mind."

 

Running through the school gates outside, Ryu checked his phone on his way to the bus station. He opened the last unread text he got from Suga:

"Hope today's date goes well!"

Once he caught the bus and sat down, he took the time to type out a reply: "I'll let you all know in the group chat I guess. But thank you for all your help!"

"No problems! Daichi and I are hyped. We haven't told Asahi about it though, he'll probably get worried about you."

"Oh yup, Noya had a fit about it too."

"I imagine. Good luck, ace!"

Putting his phone in his pocket, Ryu smiled to himself, getting lost in thought until he arrived to Sendai.

 

~~~

 

I just finished making lunch for us when my phone beeped with a message from Ryu:

"Just got here, I'm already on my way to your place. Miss you ♥33333!!"

"I'll be waiting! And I miss you too."

Setting my phone down, I glanced over to the table I have set up.

_It's kind of weird ... I know he loves my cooking a lot, but I thought I could plan some kind of special date for our anniversary before he begged me if we can just have lunch at home. Well, it's not like I have any complaints about spending time alone with him ... it's my favorite thing after all._

Just as I was thinking about that, I heard a key turn in the door lock and in the next moment, Ryu walked in, proudly swinging around the spare key I've given him a while ago.

"Hey ... see, I still haven't lost it!"

Hugging him as I gave him a welcome kiss, I chuckled. "I never said you would lose it!"

He shook his head. "No ... but I thought I was gonna."

"You're my idiot, Ryu ... the most adorable idiot. Anyway, I made your favorite ramen and for dessert, we hav-"

He pulled me back into his arms before I could finish my sentence, dropping his bag to the floor as he brought his hands up to my face. Melting under the warmth of his touch, I kissed him with everything I had. Our lips touched over and over again, wanting to sync with our heartbeat. The blood in our veins, the air in our lungs, the longing we felt in our hearts - it all came to a stop the moment we kissed each other and looked into each other's eyes.

Slowly, Ryu broke the gaze and stepped back, taking my hand as I stood before him, still quietly gasping for air. He looked around the room and smiled at the sight of the coffee pot on the stove.

"If I remember correctly, you were making coffee on that day too ..." He said, his voice a low and rough whisper as he trailed off.

I nodded, unsure of what he had on his mind.

"... so many things have changed since then. But then again, I also feel like nothing really changed at all. A year ago, I was madly in love with you. I still am. And you were so incredible. You still are. I still adore you just the same as I did back then."

"Ryu ..."

He squeezed my hand a bit tighter, looking into my eyes: "A year ago, when we kissed and neither of us let go ... when you called my name over and over again for the first time ... when you said you were mine ... in that moment, I had this weird feeling that I found a missing piece of me. But now, a year later, it's more than just a feeling ... more than just a hunch. Now, I know for sure that I'm meant to be with you for the rest of my life. So, I have to ask ..."

Speechless, I watched him get down on one knee, looking up at me with an angelic smile and tears in the corners of his eyes as he opened his other hand to reveal a beautiful ring sitting in a small black jewelry box.

"... would you marry me?"

A thousand thoughts shot through my mind in that moment. Now, it made sense why my dad kept saying how Ryu was wild beyond all imagination for the past few weeks. And why my mom bothered to casually check what my favorite kind of gemstone was. And why Ryu's mom and Saeko cried and laughed like hell when they got drunk together last week. And why his dad told me I'll be crying my own happy tears soon enough when I asked him what was going on.

But in the middle of all those thoughts, I only managed to utter one word:

"Yes!"

Smiling wider than ever, Ryu stood up and wrapped his arms around me once again as he slid the ring onto my finger.

"I ... I hope you like it." he mumbled.

"Ryu ... it's perfect. I can't believe you ... you proposed to me. It feels like a dream!"

"Do you want to wake up from that dream?"

"No ... never! You're the only one I'll love for the rest of my life. If I don't belong with you, I don't belong anywhere."

 

Holding each other close, we stood in silence, kissing over and over again. After a while, we pulled back and I saw Ryu gazing around the room again.

"After I graduate, we'll set the wedding date and I'll move in with you and we'll ... we'll start a whole new life together. And I promise I'll make our life wonderful!"

Looking up at him, I couldn't help but smile and nod. "I have no doubts about that ... because you've already made my life more wonderful than I could ever imagine."


End file.
